A basket full of eggs

I wish this was a post about how I gathered fresh eggs from my hens but alas, I'm still waiting for a law to be passed to allow for chickens to be raised in our urban setting. No basket is full of dyed eggs, the Easter sort! No matter how old the girls get they still love dying eggs. It was always fun when they were small but oh what a mess! It's still messy but they help with the clean up process. They are all so creative and the eggs become more elaborate with each egg. I'm sure there will be a day when they will lose complete interest in making brightly colored eggs but for now they love it and so do I.

What am I?

I spent last night perusing my favorite blogs. I love blogs about the day to day things that we moms do, homeschooling, DIY home decor, cooking, and now my newest obsession...chickens. So all that peeking into other peoples' lives got me to thinking what my blog should be about. At first, I thought maybe it should be about my new career path of homeschooling. A daily rundown of how I teach and how my girls learn. Next came the idea to make a list of all the household projects that need to be done around the old homestead and write and photograph the steps to a great looking home. I laughed out loud at that one! Then I thought about my need to be gluten free and how a blog about changing my lifestyle and searching out good recipes would be interesting. That's when it hit me...I suffer from ADD. All the signs having been pointing to it but I was just to distracted to see it. How can I write about one thing when my life is a constant game of "what's next"? I am a woman that has too many interests to write about just one. I have the attention span of a gnat. Therefore, I will write about whatever my flitting mind settles on. My blog will be an ever-changing memoir of my family, my school, my interests....my life!

Hello, again

Hello, again! It's been a while...like 3 years!! When I woke up this morning and thought "I'm going to start blogging again", I was under the impression it had been about a year. Wow, was I mistaken! It's crazy how time slips through your fingertips when your life becomes a whirl wind of classes, homeschooling and just taking care of a family of six. So now I have to decide where to start, I mean restart. I guess I will do a quick recap of where I was when I started blogging. I had decided to go back to college, which I did. I enjoyed it very much but then I started feeling called to follow a different path. Massive life change was in my future! Two of my daughters were struggling in school, not with the academics but with the social aspects. So much so that it was beginning to effect their grades, friendships and family life. The praying started and the waiting started and the praying continued. Then from every corner of my world people that were homeschooling their children came out of the woodwork. It was fascinating and terrifying. As I began to think seriously about it I was faced with a major obstacle, my husband. My husband is a very well educated and structured man; third in his high school graduating class, top 10% in his college graduating class and top 10% in his Masters program. The concept of homeschooling was a rather ridiculous radical thought to him. Honestly, I was just plain worried that I would be a failure at teaching my children the things needed to make them successful members of society. So I prayed and prayed and prayed. I prayed that I was really doing what was best for my kids, I prayed that my hubs would be in support of this crazy endeavor, I prayed that I would find the support I would need from those around me. Finally in July, Greg decided we would give it a try. I was elated and freaked out at the same time. And so the journey began! Over the course of the last two years we've had success and failure in the land of homeschooling. The first failure was my college classes. I was under the impression that I could be a full time student and be a full time homeschooling teacher and a full time mom and a full time church/community volunteer. Maybe some women out there can be all of those things will full on perfect success...but not me. Hard to admit at the time but now I own it! I realized that I actually enjoyed being with my kids more than I thought I would. Weird! I guess that could be considered a success as well. Another failure was our choice of curriculum. Thinking it would be better for our soon to be freshman daughter, we enrolled her in an online academy. It was like a traditional high school without all the pesky social aspects. She would work on her computer, with real time classes and teachers available to help and answer questions. The downside, our artistic, creative, free-spirit child was overwhelmed with the amount of work and began to struggle. At the end of the year, I chose not to re-enroll her. So far the best success story is the relationships that have been built during these two years. Girls that once would snarl and growl at each other like territorial dogs now read to each other, crafted together, and began to see their similarities. It's been a beautiful blessing! So here we are, nearing the end of another school year and I'm reflecting on the things I want to keep and the things I want to change. I'm changing up the curriculum again! I love change, so this exciting. We had a less structured way of learning this year which I plan to make more scheduled but I will still give the girls plenty of time for their creative outlet needs. I think I may even re-enroll in a class or two, strictly online though. I also want to keep up with this blogging thing. I'm happy to be pouring out my soul, maybe it will be the therapy I've needed but can't squeeze into my life!

Yesterday we had the most amazing time. We took the girls to a wonderful historic area called Cade's Cove.

Greg and I have been going there since we were teenagers. It's this beautiful valley tucked deep in the Smokey Mountains. There are homesteads and churches that were built in the 1800's to tour. We always take a picnic lunch and just have a peaceful day.

This year we decided to let the girls play in a creek near the picnic area.

They had an amazing time! The water was so cold but very refreshing. The creek was filled with large boulders and downed trees. It's so neat when the girls have so much fun with nothing more than water, rocks and each other.

They collected smooth stones and watched minnows and water bugs. Even Greg and I got in the creek! Madison took some silly pictures of us that were actually pretty good.

One of the best parts about the day was all the beautiful wild life we saw. We were able to photograph two young does and a gorgeous black bear traipsing through a field.

We also saw several wild turkeys and six point buck but just didn't get the camera out in time.

I hope that we are making memories that the girls will carry with them forever.

I'm sitting in a hotel, in the Smokey Mountains and loving every minute of it. The weather, although in the 90's ,feels like a high 70 by Virginia Beach standards. The hotel is designed to look like you are in a cabin. I love the stacked stone fireplace, the rustic farmhouse table and all the antler accessories. It really makes me want to have my very own cabin in the woods some day.
The other thing I am loving right now is that I am not preparing for a hurricane that is heading straight for my home and I'm not feeling shaken up by the 5.9 earthquake that affected the Virginia area. The only forces of nature I'm dealing with are two little girls that can't seem to stay happy for more than 5 minutes at a time.

I have never been a fan of school supply shopping. It ranks up there with the dentist or the gynecologist. I mean, you get this list that is so crazy long and "HELLO!" I have four kids. That means I have four ridiculously long lists. Then to top it off the lists are brand specific! Really?? We can't send our sweet little one's to school with "Eagle brand" pencils? Elmer's glue sticks are the be all, end all of glue sticks? And another thing... Why do moms act as though they are getting the last brownie at a dessert bar when shopping for the above mentioned supplies? Seriously, take a zoloft or drink a glass of wine before you shop if you are going to act like a "Real Housewife of New Jersey"!

I, of course, was genius this year. I didn't wait until the week or day before school is set to start but went three weeks early! I also decided that rather than wait until I felt like getting out of the house,(sometime after a few episodes of Law and Order), I would go at 8:30am. The girls are up anyway and why not take advantage of their awakness. Target is a wonderful place most all of the time but there is a quiet loveliness so early after opening, that no one should miss.

So final words of wisdom: condense four lists into one master list, shop weeks ahead, hit the store of choice in the early AM, oh and promise the kids any kind of snack they want if you can make it through the list without threatening a smack!

Yesterday, as I was waiting in line to register for my classes, I realized how old I really am. I mean I know the number age but I have always felt young and hip. LOL! But standing in that line gave me the opportunity to listen to all the conversations around me. Those gabfests were all involving someone's ex boyfriend, clothes, or how "s----y" it is to stand in line. I was struck by the apathy and lack of social courtesy. I mean, I know when I am waiting with my friends we all talk about stuff we deal with but, most adults don't drop the "f bomb" or other such foul word every other breath. Which leads me to my next revelation, most of the people standing in that line weren't adults. Yes, they were at least eighteen, which does technically mean they were adults, but they were just immature kids. I stood there wondering "was I that stupid twenty years ago when I first attempted college?". Surely not! I know I wasn't the brightest bulb but I did respect those around me when in a crowded place.
When I got home and I looked at my girls talking to each and being goofy. I smiled. Maybe I'm biased but they seemed more mature than most of those people I was waiting with. Oh how I hope that they will only grow in that maturity, that they will always be aware of those around them and respect them.

We have a dinner time ritual that consists of each member of our family telling about the best and worst part of our day. We all have to particpate. The big girls sometimes would rather not share but we still make them. Of course once they start talking it's often hard to get them to stop. The little girls can barely contain themselves while waiting for their turn. It's pretty fun.
Well last night we decided to talk about our upcoming vacation, since there is rarely a worst part of summer break, and things that we are all interested in doing. It's becoming difficult to plan a vacation that we will all enjoy due to the age ranges,5, 8, 13, and 15. The teenagers would really rather stay at home, hanging out with their friends, going to the beach, sleeping the day away. But sometimes we just have to force them to be with our family, whether they like it or not. And so the family fun planning begins!
The big girls want to sleep A LOT but the little girls never sleep in. The little girls would be thrilled to hang out at the pool all day, but the big girls want to shop and walk around town. Thankfully we did decide on a few things that we will all enjoy together. We are going to spend a day in one of our favorite spots in the mountains, having a picnic, walking to the historic homesteads, hopefully spotting some bears. We are going to gem flume. That's when you get a bucket of sandy dirt and sift it in a stream of water to look for precious and semi precious stones. We will be going to an indoor go-karting place, because the older girls and daddy feel the need for speed. We are hoping to go to the aquarium, we haven't been to this one since Caroline was just a baby. And the most anticipated event will be Wonder Works, a hands on science museum. We all have a blast at this place, usually staying for longer than we think because there is just so many things to do. There are a few other things I would like us ALL to try this year, river tubing, horse back riding and maybe pottery throwing. I am not holding my breath on those but it could happen!

It's been a year in the making but I have finally started getting things accomplished to start school! My dream has always been to go back to school and finish my degree in nursing.
So last July I applied and was accepted to a local community college. That's when things went a little askew. We traveled to Tennessee for two months, because Greg was going to be in Memphis for that time I thought it would be the perfect chance for the girls and I to visit family and do some renovations on mom's house. Things were going well, we spent some time in Memphis with Greg and got to see some wonderful friends. We started painting mom's 1960's era brown paneled kitchen.

Then one thing afer another started happening. My mom had a mild stroke and my grandmother was diagnosed with lung and breast cancer, within in a week of each other. I was half way through the reno job and running back and forth to the hospital. My goal of heading back to Virginia for placement tests and class scheduling was dead in the water. I decided that God knew I was needed in Tennessee much more than starting school. And besides when everything calmed down I could start in December.
Once again life threw a curve ball. Mom was doing great but my grandmother passed away. My dad was losing weight for no apparent reason. He dropped 50 pounds in three months. School would just have to wait, because I just didn't know what the next few months would hold. I really needed to be available to head to Tennessee at a moments notice.
Thankfully by April dad was starting to gain some weight, we still had no diagnosis but he was looking and feeling better.

Mom had found a new doctor and she was doing so great. So plans were in the works for school to start for the summer sememster but this time I dropped the ball. I missed the enrollment deadline! Oh well, I was going to be super busy anyway, with Bible school and a camp. I would go back to school one day.
That takes us to last week. I was getting excited about the girls going back to school, all of them will be in public school this year, and I was being asked "what are you going to do with all the free time?". I started wondering that myself. Then a sweet friend posted on Facebook that she had enrolled in college and had taken her placement tests. Thanks to her I jumped at the chance before life could trip me up and went to TCC and got the ball rolling. I am terrified and thrilled to be doing something that is going to change my life. I am shaking in my boots about doing math again but thankfully I married a math wizard! I am so excited that my dream for the last 20 years is finally starting to become a reality!

I'm currently hiding in my office from a herd of teenagers. Did I really act so goofy and laugh at everything one of my friends would say? Was I constantly starving and dehydrated as these seem to be? Did I sound like an adult one minute and then a five year old the next? Of course, I'm not complaining, these kids are great, just loud and hungry. There could be worse things. I actually love that Madison and Jillian aren't so embarrased of me that they are willing to invite people over to sit around our house. I do enjoy listening to their conversations and laughter. They are sweet kids, from church, they have great parents and I'm thrilled that my girls want to be with them!

Yesterday was one of those days when it's gorgeous outside, (aside from the heat and humidity), the kids are happy for no apparent reason, you get invited to a movie with great ladies, a load of laundry gets done first thing in the morning and then you get some wind taken from your sails.
I realized yesterday that I wasn't going to be attending the funeral of a great lady. My aunt Farris was laid to rest yesterday. She passed away on Monday after a valiant battle with a rare form of cancer. This lady was a little spitfire! She was barely five feet tall and thin as a rail but boy did she have some personality. She would do anything for a laugh, dance, sing, make crazy faces. It sounds like I am making her out to be a saint and although I think she probably could have worn the title well, she wasn't. She had a temper and wouldn't stand for anyone hurting her family. Aunt Farris was the persona of the word caretaker. She would cook, clean, babysit, mow, bake wedding cakes, cut your hair, basically anything that needed done she could do it or would find someone who could. Some would call that over doing it, but I think she never saw it like that. She just loved helping people, making them feel loved. She had one daughter but so many loved her like a mother and grandmother. When I and my brother were in elementary she would pay us a dollar for all our "A's". She would host sleepovers at her house for me and my friends. She had this amazing blue bedroom, with a canopy bed and big blue velvet wing chair, that made you feel like a princess. My brother and I loved staying with her and uncle Sonny, her husband of over sixty years. They were opposites but yet still the same. I guess they balanced each other perfectly. I have such great memories of the fun times we had at their house and going places with them. I am so glad that my daughters had the blessing of knowing her and although they didn't have as many opportunities to be with her often; when we did get to visit aunt Farris made it special. One of the best memories the older girls have is of getting to ride in their classic convertable buick. They thought they were movie stars.
It's hard to imagine going back home and going to her house and her not being there. I worry about my uncle Sonny and wonder what it is going to be like for him. Will he forget some morning that she is no longer there and call out from another room "Yard" (the nickname he gave her when they started dating)? Will he be peaceful and content knowing the she is no longer suffering and she is waiting for him in heaven? That's what I keep telling myself. It hurts to know she is gone but I really am glad she isn't in pain, sick from the cancer and sick from the medicines that are supposed to help. Her mind blurring from the endless hours of hospital visits and treatments. I am going to miss her as will everyone that knew her but I know she is waiting to see me one day and that gives me so much comfort.

Long time no write!

I woke up this morning and said to myself, "it's been a while since I've bloggged". Boy a while is an understatement! It's been 7 months and 5 days. So sad that I let something I was really enjoying slip through my fingertips. I seem to have a knack for that. Aside from motherhood, every interest I've ever had (photography, cake decorating, scrapbooking, stamping, quilting, talking with friends) eventually gets pushed to the back burner of my life. I follow several blogs and I'm just so amazed that these people can blog everyday! I blame my lack of blog posts on my ultra laid back nature. Maybe if I had a strict routine I would sit down and write something heartfelt or witty everyday, for that matter maybe I would sweep my kitchen floor every day. It's worth looking into, this structured, scheduled lifestyle.
So we shall see if tomorrow morning I can get up and blog while sipping my coffee and if I can then perhaps I can do it the next day and the day after that until it becomes a habit.

Resolutions by another name

I keep hearing people talk about resolutions, making them and breaking them. How to make them and not break them. The best resolutions to make and so on. I never been a resolution maker but thought this year I might try it but with a twist. I decided that I would trick my brain and call resolutions by a new name. It would be a list of "Want Tos". Does that make sense? Anyway, I am always thinking about things I want to do, so I'm making a list, printing it out and posting it in the kitchen, where I will see it all the time. Then as I complete a task I will put a star by it. That sounds so much better than making resolutions in mind then forgetting about them for weeks only to finally remember and then beat myself up over it. Whooo!
Maybe I should even post them here, for all to see and then keep you updated on my progress. It might even be a means to keep me motivated and on task!
Ok, so here goes...
~ 2011 Want To ~
1. read my Bible EVERY day
2. read more interesting books to my girls
3. blog daily
4. call my parents more often
5. paint the office
6. paint the kitchen
7. finish painting the cabinets
8. paint Caroline's room
9. finish all the decorating projects that I have started
10. start school

I'm sure the list could go on and on but I guess I'll just start with a top ten list.
Happy New Year!

December 31,2010

I can't believe that today is the last day of 2010! This year has really flown by. The old saying goes "time flies when you're having fun", but it also flies when you are stressed to the max and worried about the people you love. It is always interesting to me when I look back and see how God uses difficulties in our lives to show us a path we should take in the future. I have seen that I have the capacity to be strong for those around me facing the loss of a very dear loved one. I have found that I thrive caring for someone that has always been my caretaker. I have realized that although I have never wanted to be a teacher, I have been one for the last fifteen years. But I think the most profound thing I have learned about myself this year is that I put stumbling blocks in the path the I want to take due to fear. Fear is a strong weapon satan uses to keep us from seeing God's plan for our lives. If we constantly give into that fear then we in some ways become followers of the evil one. Having said that I realize that the upcoming year is really going to test my resolve to not be as I have been in years past, fearful. So I have chosen a word that will be my "mantra" for 2011...FEARLESS. I will be fearless in the knowledge that God is with me in every step I take, in every decision I make, in every thought I think, in every word that comes from my mouth, in every thing He is my shield of FEARLESSNESS!

My new goal for my blog is to start posting pictures. This is especially important since I have started down the road to redecorate as many rooms in my house as possible before Christmas. I know it sounds nuts, the hubby thinks so too and wants to excuse himself from any and all handyman duties. The first room I'm working on is the transformation of the "unplayroom" over the garage to the awesome teen suite for Madison. So far I have the walls painted an amazing shade of smoky plumish-purple. Actually, I have to give a big high five to Madison for her great painting skills, thanks to her it was almost entirely finished in about 3 hours. Now if I can just find my extender poll I could finish the walls above the stairs. The vision for the room is boutique hotel style. The most exciting project for the room is the door to desk. That's right, we are taking an old door and revamping it into a fabulous desk. I can't wait!! So I really need to wrap my head around loading pictures to my posts. Guess I better start reading the help section. Wish me luck!!!

Busy, Boring, Beautiful

I have totally enjoyed today. Helped a friend fix a costume for her daughter and got some great conversation time. Then headed off to Portsmouth Naval Hospital with Greg and the little girls for his pain management appointment. Caroline and Allison really surprised me with their amazing behavior. I know that they are sweet girls and can be darling but in situations where we are just sitting and waiting, well they tend to lean to the demonic end of the spectrum. Thankfully today was a blessing. They sat happily, checking out a couple of toys in the waiting room and talking to each other. Only after 2 and a half hours did they start to have mild complaints. I really couldn't blame them, we were all starving, we had left the house without snacks and missed lunch. Bad mommy! So they got a big treat of McDonald's for what we,thanks to Caroline, affecionately named "dinch", dinner and lunch morphed together.
The rest of the day went smoothly. The big girls got home. We all ate. We worked on some homework. We all vegged out and everybody just enjoyed a quiet, uneventful evening. Sometimes I just love do-nothing nights. They don't happen often but when they do, I savor every moment. I think most people today just don't know how to appreciate the beauty of boring.

So lately I have been pretty busy with my half homeschool schedule and wishing that I was rich enough to have all the girls in this program with Oaktree. I mean I feel so guilty every time they go to their respective schools. I would love to pull them out and start full time homeschooling with an awesome curriculum I have found online but I think at this point in the year it would do more harm than good. So I pray a lot! I make plans for next year when they will either be at Oaktree or full time with me. It cracks me up that I am enjoying this way of life so much. I NEVER wanted to homeschool, in fact I thought all homeschool kids and parents were a little on the odd side. Thankfully my perception has changed!
Of course all this desire to have my kids "un-public schooled" is made even more difficult for my husband to swallow due to the fact that I am supposed to be starting college(again) in January. I know he means well but his lack of confidence in my plans and schemes is very disheartening. I wish I had some magic potion to give him that would help him to see things through my eyes. I mean in my mind it all flows so smoothly and there are rainbows and sweet little butterflies flitting from child to child as I teach and study and bake homemade bread and sew and all the girls get along and they help each other lovingly and... Ok, enough dreaming. All I know is I think it is the right thing for me and the girls and the hubby if he will just embrace it.

This has been an exciting week for some of our friends. They welcomed a sweet little boy to their wonderful family. I am thrilled for them. I am escpecially excited to hold him. I just love holding a baby. But it comes at a time for me that is always difficult. There are two days that always bring me to such a low point and the weeks leading up to them are pretty rough. March 27th is the first, the day we lost our third baby. October 15th is the second, the day that baby was due. I wish we were planning a birthday party but we aren't. We are instead sadly thinking of what could have been, what should have been. I am also thinking about how over these past eight years if it would have been a little easier if I could have known if the baby was a boy or a girl. Would it make it easier to have a name to go with the little soul that left here too soon? At the time I thought knowing would make it harder, now I think that was so wrong. So this year like all the others I will pray that my baby is being held by his or her heavenly Father patiently waiting for me to one day be there.

Back Again

Well, here I go again. Trying to get back into the blogging swing is like trying to diet when you work at a Krispy Kreme! I have all these amazing thoughts running around in my head every night as I collapse into bed too exhausted to actually get up and type what is churning in my brain but not to tired to think out every single word as I am trying to drift off. I really should put one of the laptops next to the bed, then I could just roll over type and then roll back into the fetus postion I so love and snooze. Or maybe I could get one of those tiny recorders and just start talking and then transcribe it all when the sun comes up! Yeah, I don't think Greg would love me too much if every night as he is lulling himself into dreamland with his schizophrenic twitches I start gabbing about what has gone on in my day. So I guess I will just have to remember my thoughts each day, then sometime during the following day eek out a few minutes to sit in a nice, quiet, sunfilled spot and let the writer in me take over. (Now at this point I am giggling.) Cause like really when do I find that. At this very moment the little girls are playing hotel with Ginger and running in and out of the back door. Grady keeps growling and wanting me to give him a treat. The tv is on, which is a big deal around here lately since I banned it when school started. And now it's time to go pick up Madison from school.

Well, if I was in Virginia I would be starting my first day of classes tomorrow. But due to unforseen circumstances I will be delaying my freshman year until January. At first I was pretty bummed but I have now come to realize that it was a blessing. I will be able to get the girls all settled in to their new schools and get our routine down before I jump in to my educational journey. I am so thankful that I am not a type A personality! I would so be having a hissy fit by now and Greg would be thinking he needed to up my meds without my knowledge.