Today as I sat in the church where I was married I was struck by how much smaller it looked than on that cold December day almost 19 years ago. That day is was warm not just from the heater but from all the love that filled the space. Today it was cold, not from the blasting air conditioning, but from the people that sat in the pews that I didn't know and probably would never know. Having lived away since the day I married and having attended more churches than I can count on one hand my perspective of this little place has completely changed. Now this was not the church I was raised in. That little congregation is barely hanging on but still the people are kind and you can feel something, the Holy Spirit or the closesness they feel for one another, their family. Sticking together through good times and bad. But the church where I married it's just a building filled with people that are dutifully filling pews, singing hymns that I know by heart, bowing there heads and yet barely speaking to each other much less a visitor. There is tension in this place like they hardly know each other. Shouldn't they want to share life's ups and downs and prepare for spending eternity together? Maybe I am being too hard on them. Maybe I am too disconnected from them, only coming to visit a few times a year. Maybe I need to pray for them more and pray for God to give me an understanding about this church. All I know is that the church where we are members now fills me with joy before I even step in the door. When I am feeling down, the people there come in and lift me up. I know that when I sin my family there doesn't judge me, they pray for me and cry with me and help me renew my relationship with God. I want that feeling for everyone that enters a church, any church.

Too Close?

I feel like I have been gone forever, (it's been over two weeks since we left Virginia). Not just from my house but from my blog. Things are going well but I can rarely find the time to sit at the computer without an audience. It's hard for me to write what I am thinking when there are anywhere from 2 to 6 people hovering about me.

I really don't think I could have survived the communal lifestyle of the late sixties and early seventies. Geez, those freaks did everything together; eat, sleep, play...EVERYTHING!

Having said all that, I do love that we are together. The three older girls are sharing a room here at Nana's. I hear them giggling at night, fussing over what movie to watch, and then saying "I love you" to each other before they fall asleep. They may complain,as do I, about the constant closeness but these are memories they will cherish when they are grown.

Tennessee

We arrived in Tennessee yesterday afternoon. I was, as always, apprehensive about leaving our "home" to return "HOME"; this time was harder because we will be traveling for 2 months. All my apprehension melted away as I stood on the back deck of my mother-in-law's house gazing out over the expanse of yard and forest. The temperature here is unreal, cool and breezy in the late evening and early morning. I think this may be what heaven is like. I can picture myself sitting in a swing growing old here, watching the grandchildren romp with the dogs. Ah! Life is good...