This has been an exciting week for some of our friends. They welcomed a sweet little boy to their wonderful family. I am thrilled for them. I am escpecially excited to hold him. I just love holding a baby. But it comes at a time for me that is always difficult. There are two days that always bring me to such a low point and the weeks leading up to them are pretty rough. March 27th is the first, the day we lost our third baby. October 15th is the second, the day that baby was due. I wish we were planning a birthday party but we aren't. We are instead sadly thinking of what could have been, what should have been. I am also thinking about how over these past eight years if it would have been a little easier if I could have known if the baby was a boy or a girl. Would it make it easier to have a name to go with the little soul that left here too soon? At the time I thought knowing would make it harder, now I think that was so wrong. So this year like all the others I will pray that my baby is being held by his or her heavenly Father patiently waiting for me to one day be there.